For many years I had the assumption that physically attractive women had it a lot easier. However I learned a very valuable lesson in my 30’s.
One afternoon as I lay sleeping on the couch there was a knock at the door. Our living room had a wall of floor to ceiling windows and french doors. I opened one eye at the sound of the knock and made contact with two women standing outside.
I recognised one woman but I focussed on the unfamiliar visitor. I cautiously opened my other eye to check that I was awake and not dreaming. There she was in a short white chiffon dress, tanned and lean with long blonde flowing locks, immaculately made up in that ‘perfectly thrown together’ look. She was gorgeous.
Here was I looking the exact opposite, for I represented the epitome of a Mother who had abandoned all thoughts of self care, other than eating and sleeping when I could. I was raising three small children, two of whom did not like to sleep and seemed to catch any illness, even if they saw it on television. Getting the picture? I’d been up most of the night dealing with endless vomit and showering small unwell little people.
I had pulled on an old sweat top and some shorts that revealed that I had not attended to the ‘winter legs’ that were rather cellulite covered, very pale and in need of a wax. I was lucky to have washed my face let alone found any make up.
Once the women left I was on the phone to my sister discussing a new tactic to the approaching function where this stunning woman was going to be in attendance.
We needed make-overs, new outfits and I was thinking body wrap, liposuction and at the very least the most unattractive suck-me-in under garment possible. Comfort was not going to be an issue in these dire circumstances.
After I had been to the function and was talking to the woman’s mutual friend, she asked me the strangest thing. She asked me if I’d talked to ‘stunning woman’ at all. I said I had exchanged pleasantries but that was it.
Mutual friend went on to say that ‘stunning woman’ had been treated like that all her life. She was actually 3 years older than me, wanted to get married and have children but it hadn’t happened as her physical beauty had literally gotten in the way.
I was now the ‘stunned woman’. I had to give this some thought. ‘Stunning woman’ had some difficulties? People judged her solely on her looks which was exactly what I’d done.
It had been difficult for her to form real relationships because she was treated differently due to her being blessed with all the things that I’d spent my life wishing I’d had.
My well trained Catholic-guilt kicked in as I heard how this lovely woman was a designer and she’d done some very interesting things. I felt so bad.
The old ‘book by it’s cover’ adage is so true. We should not be judging the beautiful people and categorising them solely as long-legged, beautiful-teethed, physically well designed specimens but as human beings who have their own ‘stuff’.
By the way I as I write this I am sitting here with a fake tan that happens to be the fakest of all tans. The golden glow natural look has not happened. When will I learn?
I’m leaving for San Francisco in 3 hours so I’m thinking I might have to bleach myself or my husband may not want to stand near me at the wedding we’re attending.
Next week I’ll be telling you about why all my friends are absolutely beautiful…..